To Sophie

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Dear Sophie,

I wanted to write you a letter that can make you cry, but when I think of you, you were always that strong and independent and hundred-words-per-minute woman. You show such a tough facade and you strike with iron fist.

I wanted to write you a letter that’s so touching you’ll run to your Mangubat and cry, but when I think of anything to write, I can’t compose anything but something to make fun of you.

I like to tease you about having such giftedness with you know what I mean (winks). I like to tease the way you speak so rapidly that it is I who felt like running out of breath just listening to you. I like to take stolen shots of you and post them on FB and tag Mangubat. I like listening to your funny love story. It reminds me of a Koreanovela.

My memories of you are fun and refreshing and I’m glad to have gotten to know you better even if it’s just a few weeks.

Although, there is something I have to confess. I didn’t like you before. I was intimidated by you. I thought you were maldita, (although I think that trait is innately you), and so sophisticated that I didn’t want myself involved with you. But I was wrong. Although I could not change the fact that you are ‘maldita’, when I got to know you better, I discovered your good traits and I have grown fond of you. I simply admire your cunningness, your strong sense of judgement and decisiveness. I admire you for standing up strongly for what you believe in despite that so many oppositions and maltreatment. You held your chin up high to show them you weren’t affected.

I want you to know that  I am so happy that even for awhile, and I hope not just for awhile but for a long time, we are and will be friends–close friends.

Take care of Mangubat. I know you love him and he loves you, too, so don’t make a foolish mistake and let each other go.  (Yucks, kacheesy atu paminawun uie. Mura kog mama jud nimu.)

Love,
Jam

To Kate

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Dear Kate,

How can two physically opposite beings have so similar qualities and interests?

I remember how we two became close to each other. We had this funny debate about which stature was more socially awkward. Yes indeed, you said that being short as you are, is socially difficult because it is you that gets to be lifted up during dance routines and I protested that while you are lifted up, it is we, huge ones, who do so much work and strain our muscles. You said that it’s difficult being short because you buy clothes at the Kid’s section and I protested that while that is socially awkward, it’s more awkward that my tall stature could fit only that of men’s clothing. You complain about high heels being so useless. Meanwhile, I could never wear such unless I like intimidating guys and children.

I don’t remember the arguments we had about our height differences, but you should know, that was one of our precious memories together that I’d always treasure in my heart.

I was touched by how much effort you put into decorating the scrapbook for me. I enjoyed the comic strips so much and the creativity. Honestly, while reading the comics you made, I was laughing until the last line when you said, “Kate, who loves her so much and is willing to be hugged by a lizard for Jam to come back”. I wonder can you really do that for me? Can you really face those two phobias: fear of hugs and lizards? Even if I could not fathom the idea of you allowing yourself to be hugged by a lizard, my eyes felt hot and I realized that I was trying to just hold back my tears in the fear that my eyeliner would smudge.

I know it’s really cheesy that I’m writing this and I’m not even complied to. I don’t know what got into my head that I’m writing you this letter. I just think I miss you and will miss you.

I will miss talking about our crushes, singing to songs I introduce to Bruno Mars tunes, helping each other with homework, going to church together and sometimes even arriving late there, praying in the chapel together, lining up for Tapa, talking about your issues with You-know-who, teasing Darrel, Wendy, Miko or Nicole, karaoke-ing, dancing randomly without music, imagining our first dates in Casa Verde, etcetera, etcetera.

There are so much memories I wish I could keep fresh forever. Though, I fear that in time, they will fade. They probably might, but I hope the friendship would not.

I’m not going to say I LOVE YOU, because you’ll rub that to my face and embarrass me by probably group messaging everybody about it. I’m not going to say I LOVE YOU because you’ll get big-headed and ‘feeler’. I won’t say I LOVE YOU because I don’t think you need more reminding.

God Bless You, Putotski…

Love,
Jam

I Used to be a Skillful Writer!

>Argh! I had just come across an old blog of mine, a blog that I had been actively updating two or three years ago when I was in my 3rd Year of High School. The stuffs I’ve written there are mainly about my Kpop and DBSK obsession, which I had gotten over with when the boy band DBSK disbanded or broke up. I read my blog, not that I was interested with the posts as I was before, but I read to check my English. Reading my ex-blog was like seeing a ghost of the past. It was like reminding myself of how I used to be this impish and K-pop obsessive girl, who, apparently, could write really well. Perhaps, even better than now. I liked how I constructed my sentences then. I liked how witty and funny I sounded. I liked the way I used very articulate and expressie words. Horror struck me like lightning. In my opinion, my writing was better before than it is now. Which could only mean my skills, due to the lack of practice, has deteriorated. NOOOOO!

Here was my old blog. Hahaha. It’s still existing. Guess what? This blog has had over 20,000 views. That’s pretty amazing, isn’t it? I don’t think that this new blog of mine could top that. Hahaha! The Kpop fever is really just something. Here’s the link to my old blog, by the way:   http://jamfanatiq.wordpress.com/

Link to my King of Hearts fanfic: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/jam_023/

When I was fifteen, I had written the most heartrending, powerful and worth publishing fanfiction. It was of course a product of my obsession with Kpop as the main character was a fictional girl and Onew, of the Kpop boyband SHINee. Basically, the story was inspired by the Korean movie, “A Millionaire’s First Love”, which was like “A Walk to Remember” except that the female protagonist died of a heart disease and not cancer. My story was entitled “King of Hearts” and the roles were reversed. It was the female protagonist who was the bitch and the spoiled brat. She fell in love with Onew, a strange but very amicable guy. However, Onew suffered a bad case of Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy. Modesty aside, my story was a hit in winglin. I had about twenty or so comments on my Winglin page a day and very faithful subscribers.

Aawh.. As I am narrating my story base from my memory, I am overcome by nostalgia. I remember how I used to make extensive research on Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy to make my story very plausible. I felt like a very good writer doing so. 

Now, I’m trying to write something, an original story this time, but I can’t seem to finish it or even start it. I have the plot in mind, but I can’t put them in to words as I have put the words too well in “King of Hearts”  I had lost my touch. (Nooo!)

What I was supposed to write was my very own ‘fictionalized’ love story. This is based on reality this time, but I couldn’t quite arrange the images in my mind to place them into words.

Aaaargh! I used to be a very skillful fictional writer. What happened to me now? What can I do to bring my old creativity back?

>Bruno Mars Doowops and Hooligans Concert: A Blast but a Bummer

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Bruno Mars was the first ever International Artist that isn’t born on my parent’s generation that has come here to Cebu.  He was the first International youthful experience to us Cebuano teenagers.

First of all, I’d like to congratulate Mr. Bruno Mars for a job well done. He was perfect: great vocals, powerful performance, good audience impact and unique and individualized never-been-heard-before ad libs and musical rearrangements. I was awestruck by his renditions of The Other Side. Despite the absence of Travis McCoy and B.O.B., he managed to make ‘Billionaire’ and ‘Nothin’ on You’ sound way better than how the original. When he was singing about Filipina girls, I had no idea it was just an introduction of ‘Nothin on You’, so when he sang the lines, ‘Beautiful girls, all over the world…’ excitement rushed all over my veins. I screamed with the crowd and didn’t care that I was deafening my friend’s brother when I recognized that ‘Mary You’. I so loved that song even before it was popularized even more by Glee. When ‘The Lazy Song’ was sung, I was animatedly telling everyone in my row that this was theme song for the summer.

When he went to grab a ukulele, I didn’t expect that he would sing ‘Count on Me’. I really love this song, because I sort of think of it as my theme song to my friends. During the chorus of the song, I texted my friend Kate, who was somewhere below in the GOLD seats. I repeated Bruno Mars’s lines: “You can count on me like 123. I’ll be there.”


The highlight of the concert, I believed was when Bruno Mars finally sang his hit songs: Grenade and Just the Way You Are. He reserved the bests for last. When he started with, “Easy come. Easy go.” Everyone recognized the song immediately. Everybody, including me of course, screamed because we had to, in order for us to keep our sanity with the rush of excitement we were feeling. Grenade, over the couple of months that I’ve listened to it over and over again, was a song I was starting to grow tired of, but, the Bruno Mars’s ad libs; the new tempo and rearrangements made me fall in love with Grenade all over again.

When he said he was going to sing his last song, I was like, “What the heck? Last song already? He’s gotta be kidding me.” They started playing those familiar notes–Oh! Those piano keys that make me and the other girls melt. And that one and only soulful and romantic voice that swoons us ladies and sends chills down our spines. “Oh her eyes, her eyes makes stars look like they’re not shining…” I screamed on the top of my lungs, my loudest in this one; I swear I almost pop a vein there, but my scream was not loud enough because everyone was screaming in the way I did.

It was like an anticlimax. I was feeling so blissful that I’ve heard the one and only Bruno Mars sing one of my favorite love songs and he suddenly concludes the concert. I checked my time. It was still past 10 and I expected the concert to last long. I expected Bruno Mars to sing more songs. He hadn’t even sung my favorite ballads yet: Move on and Who Is. He had not sung Lost, too or Today My Life Begins (which was from another album, but still…) And what about ‘Again’? or ‘Voices in My Head’? While everyone was demanding more or for an encore, I was dumbstruck. I can’t believe it was finish or almost finish.

 The loud cheers of the crowd brought Bruno Mars back to the stage again and he performed his encore, ‘Runaway Baby’. He even danced and looked so adorable prancing with Phil and his guitarist. For a moment there, I forgot that disappointment.

When the concert was over, I was still in a state of bewilderment. I wanted more! I was still hungry for more! I wasn’t satisfied at all. It was such a blast, really; it felt like a dream come true. I enjoyed so much;  Bruno Mars was hot as fire. He was on a roll. He was perfect up there on stage, but I am not satisfied, not at all. I felt that the concert was too short.

I won’t lie and tell you that it was the best night of my teenage years; that it was the fulfillment of my dreams; that it was the best concert ever. I’m sorry to say that although I had a blast and a hell of a good time, I was disappointed because it did not quite exceed my expectations and…MY OTHER FAVORITE BRUNO MARS SONGS WEREN’T SUNG. 




But I guess, that’s okay. Bruno Mars said he’ll be coming back anyway. I just hope he keeps his promise. I just hope that the next time he comes back, he’s going to sing more songs. (Maybe 20? Hehehe)

Long live Bruno Mars! I salute the success of your concert. Hoping for more to come.

>Pre-Bruno Mars Concert: The Long Wait

>Rendezvous was in Waterfront Hotel at 4pm sharp. My friends and I knew that the concert was going to start at 8pm, but we anticipated a long queue of youthful Bruno Mars fandom, so we decided to meet up early. And then, I was running late because of my sister’s drama. She ignored the fact that the rendezvous was at 4pm. I suggested we eat at McDo, just to be really quick, but she insisted on Moon Cafe. I had a choice to order at McDonald’s, have a quick meal and speed off to Waterfront ahead of her, but I had to admit that I also wanted to eat at Moon Cafe.

Anyway, I was still mad at my sister for snarling at me when I told her we had to be there at Waterfront immediately because my friends had already arrived. And my mood was destroyed… My bad mood was, thankfully, uplifted from me by my friends, when I met them later and heard their bubbly stories of their summer. (And I ignored my sister the whole time. Ha!)

Cagwin’s stories never fail to amuse me.

Bea, Nicole and Cagwin were worried of being under-dressed. While they were in their casual attires, they couldn’t help envying those in sparkling and stylish cocktails and dresses. We were given quite a surprise when Darrel arrived dressed with effort.

Darrel arrived and shocked us with her cowgirl attire, as I have put it or ‘job interview’ attire, as Cagwin put it. I wonder where she parked her horse. Hahaha.

My friends, unlike me, had taken out orders via Darrel from KFC for dinner. They were there in Waterfront early just to line up, so they had to sacrifice by eating a quick meal while squatting on the carpeted floor outside the ballroom hall.

Cagwin was talking a hundred words a minute even while devouring KFC Snackbox.

Cagwin quoted Mangubat that the reason I have so many stolen shots of her is that she never avoids the camera even if she knows very well I was aiming for her, and even when she’s talking and doing something embarrassing she never evades my shots. Well, I couldn’t disagree with that, Mangubz.

Okay, the line was very long…

We are all smiles in this picture but in reality, we were getting tired and impatient of waiting.

See? We were really tired, so we squatted on the floor to reserve our energy for later.

The concert, I think began past 8pm. It was started by the opening act of Michael Copon, who’s a real hottie. He’s not new to me because I’ve seen him in Bring It On 4: In It to Win It as Penn, but I guess he’s kind of new to the music industry. He’s half Filipino and really handsome. I think the girls that night were enchanted to meet him.

For a starter, he’s quite charming. But the crowd were hungry for Bruno Mars. I would have to admit that my excitement intensified when he sang his last song (Argh! I forgot the title, but I liked that song because the piano intro reminded me of a Stevie Hoang song)

When he got off the stage, the whole crowd was so excited. Yet again, we had to wait a couple more minutes that was so excruciating that it felt like hours. People from below gave us false hopes when they suddenly screamed excitedly. We thought it was because it was finally starting and that Bruno Mars was finally ready to perform, but it was just a false alarm.

Oooh. I hate long waits. I got impatient but I convinced myself that patience always gives us its reward. And the reward for our patience were good seats and the whole beautiful and unforgettable Bruno Mars experience.

*The whole concert experienced will be separated in another blog post.